But anyway, I had d4's, 6's, 10's, 20's and even a lesser spotted d5, but I hadn't got my hands on a d12 until Wednesday. (The picture is for the sake of it, I want one!)
Which was a very good day (there were a couple of minor things up with it, but I survived,) which threw me a little.
I got out of the house and was ecstatic as for the first time I caught a bus without having to put up with some jerkwad making a side-show out of me or making a comment. I easily found the shop I sought, and aquired my new dice; a fair number of them too, as well as d12's I made the ranks of my other dice swell some as well. I also decided to aquire a figure for my DnD game, the hectapus I'm using is cute and all, but I want to use something appropriate looking. Some of the others are using d12's as their character's markers, so I guess one of them can use it now.
Wednesday evening was a lot of fun as well. A Starstorm Dev meeting, followed by the game itself. This week was boss fight week (it seems to be boss fight week in general, our DnD game seemed to be a boss fight too.) Once we actually stepped up to the challenge, we totally kicked his ass, but it did sort of bring something out about our party; We don't have a clear leader yet, and for the most part, we do a lot of running away. My character is supposed to be a cheery and encouraging sort, so she might start fights calling out encouraging slogans and cheery platitudes as she rains watery death on her foes.
A bizarre thing happened on my way home in the taxi, as the driver asked me a few personal questions, while I sat there thinking “is he coming onto me?” continuing to the point of “I think he's coming onto me” and then to the “oh my god he's coming onto me”... After I paid my fare and got my change he asked me if I wanted some fun. “Oh fuck.” I think to myself, before shutting him down and getting the hell out. It reminds me of my inexperience, in that I'm not used to being seen as attractive (the circles I used to run in had no one who would be interested in me, so I never really got used to it, and the attraction I'm getting isn't the sort I'm prepared for.) and also, that the people I see as attractive now generally don't see me as attractive at all. Can I just leave it at: I'm having personal issues with attraction, sexuality, and relationships? That's probably what's screwing with my feelings at the moment.
At the moment I'm mostly happy, or switched off, one of the two. I need a solid meal though, something I've just not got the wherewithal to make, knowledge enough to know how to use the food in the house to make it with, or the money to eat out at decent places. Don't get me wrong, I'm still eating enough, but it feels like I just feed on whatever scraps I have the motivation to throw together.
On another note; I have a therapy session on Monday. I wish it was tied into the GIC and things like, but alas, it's just a general depression thing. Here's hoping it wont be all stuff I've heard before, or stuff I think is wildly inappropriate and unrelated.
Also to add, is that I'm probably not going to return home for Christmas. While I know I've spent more this year on Christmas presents than ever before, I don't feel like I'm going to be able to cope with the foreseen problems. While I can really commend how well my brother and sister have taken it, as well as my mum, who is coping well, I know that other family members, my dad and cousin in particular, who are just going to sour the whole experience, albeit in very different ways; I'm not sure it's fair for me to say exactly what they will be like though, so I'll leave it at un-acceptance and ignorance, respectively. There's also feelings of worry at going back through my old hometown; a mix of what if someone recognises me and what if it really lives up to the backwards-ness I've come to expect from the place.
I'll leave it at this for now...
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