Rowarghhh

This is going to be a bit all over the place, as several chains of thought that should have been placed in several different posts over the last few days are now being vented because I need to. This will not necessarily be coherent and most likely be disjointed. Enjoy the ride.

My head is on minor meltdown. I could be having some fun right now, but I've worked myself right the hell up because my house-keys are missing. I've turned my room inside out and not found them, so I have stressed my head to the point of headache. It means that the fun I could have had I'm not even in the mood for. I was all “get out of my room”, with an edge of snarl.

I've been playing Final Fantasy XII, that has been eating time like time was jelly beans and I was the game. I'm really enjoying it, needless to say maybe, but I'm getting drawn into it when I've really got other things to do. Things like writing stuff like this, which I've specifically not plugged the PS2 back in for because I knew I needed to write this stuff down. I'm glad to be running around Rabanastre again and hunting nasties!

I've been helping a friend who works around the corner from the GIC here, and I had a thought about it. It seems like the GIC has become like the promised land. A land of milk and honey, or something. I'm kind of hoping I don't have to spend 40 years wandering the wilderness before I get there (something the last letter I got from them didn't set my mind at ease about,) and that when I get there, I have enough faith in myself to not get bounced away, to spend the next 40 years trying to get back there...

I had a Starstorm game tonight, which was awesome. We keep getting to the point of it looking like we're going to get ourselves killed. Tonight was one such time. Of course we survived, My spell slinging has improved dramatically this week thanks to an interim update, the whole game still being in beta, and I, the caster of the group, seemed to have more potency running up to things and stabbing it with a spear. I still ended up having to do the stabby stabby thing, but only because I'd fired off my glamour in twelve waves, severely hurting one, and killing off the others. Much fun.

I've suspended my hunt for a new home, as many factors ebb and flow, swelling to more complex than I originally had thought. I am thinking I might try and make more of a go of finding a way to survive where I am, although while I actually get to a survivable level, I'm going to need a fair bit of help I think. I'd waived the problems thus far aside with, “I'm getting out of here”, but hopefully I'll be able to tackle them and take them down in the upcoming days.

I'm in a fourth edition Dungeons and Dragons game too. It is fun. I got the players handbook today and a DM guide from my brother. Which just distracted me for a little while. I'm looking forward to seeing how that turns out.

I have a date (second, in fact, with this person) We're doing a little shopping (too much? Maybe.) then getting food, then going to see a play. A Midsummer Night's Dream. I'm looking forward to it, but I wish I had more brain power and energy this week for it.

I have blue nail varnish on today, it's chipped and cracked all over and I've barely done anything today with my hands.

This week is the release of “The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks” Something I am getting. Finances willing. I'm just trying to work it out now and I hate it when I try and work out what I've spent on what when I home and realise that I've spent money on a bit of everything I had budgeted. Anyhow, turns out I can't afford it now I look at it. Buggery... It's on my list, at least there's a chance I'll get the new Kingdom Hearts game for the DS instead for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I'm in many minds about it. My dad so far has taken it all a bit badly. My decision to change my name completely has not gone down too well. He refuses to even look at pictures of me, and although he will not make a scene over Christmas, there is a high probability I will not be called by my name. While the rest of the family is dealing with it. My mum through coming to see me more often. My brother and sister are like “Fine”. My granddad also is weirdly unaffected towards the negative. My Aunt is, well, she's okay, but her daughter, my cousin, is more than likely going to be one of the little problem people as she's cut of the same cloth as the people I occasionally have trouble with in my area. This year signifies a major turning point for a lot of my family, as a few people have died, and I had, under certain definitions, to be reborn as me.

I'm getting less annoyed with the he/she mix-ups. While it is annoying that people I have never identified as male with are clonking me with with 'he's I'm trying to shrug it off a little more, because even women who have always been women on occasion get the wrong pronoun used on them. I've taken to just correcting and not making a thing of it. Although I am pleased (I wish I had a less poncey way of putting it) that people are trying to not get it wrong.

I'm so knackered! I think I've written enough for now. I could have written several paragraphs on each, but, I got new pyjama's today and now, now I want to sleep in them...

This is most certainly enough for now...