Complications

I'm house-hunting at the moment. I need a little help with it.

I'm looking for a shared house, preferably central Sheffield or good area with decent public transport links. I'm feeling very pressured about it. On one hand I don't feel safe or comfortable in the area I live in (too many chavs and people more likely to physically lash out at me, and I've been feeling it a lot lately), and on the other hand, I feel my house mate needs me to stick around despite what feels like continuous pushing away. So far my search is failing because I keep getting caught up by student houses, and I am not a student.

So I'm feeling a lot of pressure at the moment, I'm struggling to know what the right thing to do is, and especially what I need to do for myself. I don't feel like I'm doing all I can for myself, or that I'm able to, because I'm either too afraid to go out, or too meek to stand up for what I want, or just too tired to be able to put the effort in to what I need to do.

I've been feeling the need for space, but it's not so much space away from people, but space to be allowed to feel what I feel and think what I think. My confidence keeps taking hits when I make up my mind about something and then get pretty much over-ridden.

All that in consideration, it's not all doom and gloom. I've got a date tomorrow, during the day. While I've got the nerves of someone who hasn't really dated much, I'm feeling fairly confident. I'm just hoping my energy recovers a little, because I feel like I've been zombified and have the look to go with it. I've picked a fairly cool outfit for the day too, and it's amazing what you can pull off with make-up, so it won't be so bad. At least I get to sleep fairly late, so that should help a lot too. I met him on OKCupid. We get along in quite a few different ways, so I hope in meeting him we will still get along well.

That's enough for now...