I'm knackered, so I'm having a day of rest. I still have Noddsoc Later, but I'm spending my afternoon doing nothing.
I had such a weird dream, I wandered into a street gunfight, and was asked to help. I refused, and ran around the corner, where I called the police from. One of the gunfights participants saw me and that led to me being chased around the street by a knife wielding psycho, who leapt over a car and stabbed me in the chest... Not very pleasant. I survived though, and while recovering I went to a shoe shop which belonged to my mum and took a pair from it (my mum does not own a shoe shop in the waking world, awwww)...
*intermission* I needed a drink and to sort out a painful toe.
So in this shoe shop the bastard that stabbed me comes in, shortly after someone suggests I fellate what appears to be a small kangaroo and I refuse quite fervently. Apparently it would help me heal.
Aaaaaaaanyway...
This guy, sees me and tries to run away. Somehow though, I beat him into submission and he stops trying. I get someone to call the police while he still struggles under me in a choke-hold. He's struggling too much, so I bash his head against a wall until he passes out. Then the police arrive and bring him round. I watch as they take him to the toilet, at which point he makes a break for it and one of the three police officers casually steps out after him. I protest that he'll get away, but the other two tell me to just wait, and the third officer comes back and has the guy in tow. I'm amazed and they take him away.
Then I wake up. My housemate brings me some coffee and I eventually sit up in bed to drink it, switching on my laptop and begin to write up my thoughts and feelings.
I'm feeling pissed off. Something I've complained about offline before is how living my life as a woman has increased the difficulty of my life from 'hard' to 'OMFG ARE YOU INSANE?' mode, I'm feeling that way again. I'm trying not to complain so much about it all, after all I did 'choose' to do this...
I've been asking myself the same question a lot recently (That is 'am I insane?') I'm finding myself insecure about how I look (thanks to the guys by the bus-stop yesterday who had to call out 'what are you dressed like a woman for?' from across the road.) Finding the most innocent or well meaning of things reminding me that I'm not physically how I want/should be. As well as spending my time preparing for things I'm going to on my own asking myself if today's the day I get beaten up waiting for a bus. Worst of all is that I'm finding myself asking myself 'why would anyone subject themselves to this?' and failing to come up with a tangible answer. I know it's what I have to do, (why?) but hell...
A comment on people treating me as 'trans' and not as 'woman'. It's annoying, please stop it... Who am I kidding, who's gonna read this that will actually admit they do that?
Lastly a brief diary of yesterday: It was cool!
I started off late late late, couldn't get up, missed two busses and caught the very slow one in the end. Spent the afternoon drinking tea and eating Stollen cake with a friend. I chatted with him and we wiled away the afternoon until it was time for me to go.
I caught a bus, hopped off to shop at Morrison's for snacks. Got annoyed with a fat guy who thought I was okay with people staring at me. Hopped back on a bus into town.
I found my way to the new game that's starting up. Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons! Woo! We did all the character generation this week. I created a half-orc fighter, I'm calling her 'Hahanr'.
Then I came home. Did a little research on reporting harassment (something I'd noted I really needed to do just in case.) and watched the Doctor Who episode from the weekend. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't the best I've ever seen. It's probably about average, which is to say, a little blah.
And so, my blog ends. This is enough for now...
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