Sleep

It's been a long week so far. Actually things are just long altogether at the moment. I'm not sleeping enough, a combination of a lot on my mind and that there is work being done on the house next door which usually starts a good few hours before I'm ready to be up and about.

On Monday I had an dentist appointment. Had a root canal which has left my jaw aching a lot, and I've got something wrong with my throat too. I'm not even done with the dentist yet though, which doesn't fill me with happy thoughts.

There was the IDAHO event on Monday evening too, which I posted about on here. It was a bit crap, to say the least. I posted a proper write-up on my other blog about it, but I found it really disappointing from a trans point of view. It's especially not encouraging when I find myself in a place where I really want to do something to make things better, but feel like I'm on my own because I can't find anyone else doing the same thing.

I've picked up more than a couple of levels of frustration and I feel I've got an emotional backlog piling up. Distractions and comic relief are working to a certain extent, but I feel like things are cracking up a little. I've been very aware that my behaviour has been a little off recently, I don't feel natural and flowing, I feel forced and pressured.

Maybe I just need a break point, a chance to let it all go and breathe a little.

Tomorrow I've got a meeting with a local government councillor. I've not managed to find anyone on the internet who's done similar, so I'm pretty much on my own on this one. I'm hoping it doesn't end on a 'nothing we can do' note, but it's been repeatedly battered into me that I shouldn't expect too much from it.

I still don't feel very positive about things.