Lilith's second solo outing!

Hey there everyone!

Just another milk run, still made me very nerous, to the point of once ready stopping and taking ages to get out of the door. It took a less than gentle shove to get me out of doors (“Go!”), but I was fine.

Felt over dressed for what I was doing, and a little over made-up too. As far as I could see I was the only girl out there dressed the way I was. (Just occurred to me that it's Saturday, and I was wearing 9-5 type clothes. Duh!)

I was a lot more smiley and confident this time around, if still a lot shaky. It gave me chance to be a lot more observant of people. One thing to be said about here: It's always very busy. Most people we're not bothered and didn't notice/look at all. Did get a couple of double takes (out of the potential number I could have got, two is excellent), especially at the check-outs while waiting. This doesn't bother me so long as they remain respectful and such. I would have gone through a till with a person behind it, but it was so busy I went through the self serve again. I don't know how I would have done, but I felt confident enough to try it, next time maybe, if I go while it's quieter.

No whistling this time! Oh well...

I still had to measure my pace a little more carefully, but I think I did a lot better than last time, where I might as well as run to the shops and back.

Going on my own is so much harder than going with others, going with others you have at least their energy and strength to boost your own. On your own it's a little more complicated. I'm glad though, this trip was better than before, even if my pre-departure panicking was worse.

I'd been getting ready entirely on my own, I didn't have company until about twenty minutes after I was ready to go. It's scary what your brain throws at you. I feared I was 'just playing'. I thought I should just 'give up, get changed, take the make-up off and go as a boy'. They weren't strong enough thoughts to make me undo the preparations I'd made, but were enough to hold me still for a little while. I think in the end I took about an hour and a half from getting dressed to actually setting off. 

I did great though. I got what I needed without feeling completely out of place, without tripping and breaking anything, or getting accosted by anyone along the way. 

I have to do it all again on Monday morning though, have a package waiting for me at the post office, and it's addressed to Lilith.

That's enough for now though...